Finding self love

Tiffany had been feeling disconnected for longer than she wanted to admit. And without cause, in her own mind anyway. She had a loving family, supportive friends, an interesting career. She was active and engaged in her life, going out, volunteering and YET, during each of our sessions we’d inevitably arrive at the feeling of uneasiness she harbored about her life. She was where she was supposed to be, career-wise, friend-wise, (though love was another story) and yet her feelings didn’t match up. Everything looked good on paper and something still just didn’t feel good. She needed a perspective change, BAD.

And so she decided to take herself to Australia, alone, to recalibrate. Before she left we had a big session about what she wanted from this trip. As a life-long adventurer, her other travels had been about exploring and seeing the world in front of her, the world outside of herself. This trip, we soon realized, was to be an internal one, a time to see where and why discontentment had lodged in her heart and how to unhook from its grasp.

We laid out a few practices and journaling questions for her to keep top of mind while traveling and the night before she left, I emailed her this:

You are adventurous.

You are spirited.

You are wide open.

You are ready.

I'm so proud of you.

Our next session was scheduled a few weeks after she arrived home and I was eager to hear her feelings and see what, if anything, had shifted in her uneasiness.

We sat down and with one look I knew everything had changed. She was glowing, open, bright in her body.

We talked a bit about what she did and who she met and then she said, “And I followed your instructions about journaling and wrote down everything I was feeling. It just poured out of me. I really had no idea there was so much inside I needed to admit and express.”

“And what was the most eye-opening thing you wrote? “ I asked.

She said, “On one of the last days I wrote, ‘Was I supposed to come on this trip to fall in love with myself.’”

Holy sh*t.

We both sat silently staring at each other, giving reverence to the humbling nature of self-love and the power that settles in your bones when you legitimately hit on it.

After a few moments she looked at me, tears in her eyes and said, “I really like who I’ve found in myself. I know it’s going to take effort to keep her close, but I’m willing to try.”

Here’s what I told Tiffany.

Once we’ve found ourselves we cannot ever lose that person again. Once we’ve hit upon true internal connection, our cells are imprinted with that feeling and we can go back to it whenever we need. The trick is not to judge ourselves when we fall into old habits or fears but to instead find the love that’s already been awaken within us.

In other words, once awake to the awesomeness of yourself, you can’t ever fall back asleep. (Tweet this!)

You may sometimes nap but never again will you be out cold, asleep at the wheel of your life.

All my love,

Jamie